Oh the irony!

The mentality of The Daily Mail can be nicely summed up as follows: "Those bloody foreigners, coming over here, taking our jobs! They should be fucking stopped, I tells ya! We shouldn't let the ruddy sods in unless they jump through every hoop we set for them, and pass several tests that make sure they are of sufficient calibre to come to the nation that created St Diana and St Jade (Peace Be Unto Them)."

Unless, of course, it is a British national trying to get into a foreign country. So the fuck what if Australia wants this nurse to take an English test? If she was really committed to working in that country, she would shut her pie hole and take the test. Rather than bellyaching to The Daily Hate. Yes, a person from England taking an English test may seem a little crass - but since when has bureaucracy either here or in Australia (or, indeed, anywhere in the world) been know for its sense? And if she is English, then passing this test should be pretty fucking simple.

And the irony is nicely summed up by a commenter; AJD, from Barnsley:

She should be thankful that they're considering letting her work over there at all. The hypocrisy of people who moan about foreigners coming to work here but who then themselves go and demand to be let into another country is staggering.

Quite. But I some how doubt that those writing for The Daily Wail will ever think like that. They are probably too busy singing "Rule Britainnia" under their breaths, inbetween raging against immigrants trying to come into this country and crying out against countries that won't let our people in without passing some basic cunting tests.

Littlejohn.Yet Again.

I shouldn't read Richard Littlejohn. He just pisses me right off. But I do, and as soon as I do, I feel the need to vent on this blog.

So let's take a look at what the ever ignorant Littlejohn has got himself into a tizzy about today - some nurse being kicked in the teeth for offering to pray for patients. He asks what her crime was, before noting that none of the outrageous crimes he offers were actually the problem:

No. Her 'crime' was to offer to say a prayer for one old lady on the ward. It's what we used to call an act of Christian charity.

Yes, we used to call it that. However, times have moved on. And an evangelical zeal for an outmoded and out of date fictional religion isn't quite as smiled on as it once was.

Mrs Petrie, a committed Christian since she was aged ten when her mother died of breast cancer, routinely offers to pray for her patients' speedy recovery. Many of them find it a great comfort.

What fucking difference does it make that Petrie's mother died of breast cancer when she was 10? Nothing - unless you are cynically trying to create sympathy for a supposed carer who said the wrong thing. And as we shall see, Petrie doing this routinely is part of the problem.

In this case, 79-year-old May Phippen said: thanks, but no thanks. No offence given or taken. But when Mrs Phippen mentioned it to another nurse, all hell broke loose.

How do you know no offence was taken? Have you asked May Phippen? And perhaps the other nurse was offended that Petrie was using and abusing her position as a carer to push her evangelical Christian beliefs onto a sick woman. I know I fucking well would be offended by that. Or does the opinion of the other nurse not count? Because, perhaps, she is a nurse and not a patient.

Mrs Petrie had previously been warned about her conduct after she asked a male patient if he would like a prayer card. He thought nothing of it, but his 'carer' threw a wobbly and reported her to hospital authorities.

Oh, ok, so Petrie has previous form for pushing her beliefs onto others. And has been warned about it before. To push her beliefs onto someone once could be classed as ill-thinking ignorance. To do so again shows a contempt for anyone who does not believe the same thing as Petrie. A contempt that should not be present in a nurse.

Administrator Alison Withers wrote to her: 'As a nurse you are required to uphold the reputation of your profession. Your NMC (Nursing Midwifery Council) code states that "you must demonstrate a personal and professional commitment to equality and diversity", and "you must not use your professional status to promote causes that are not related to health".'

So as a nurse, Petrie has to adhere to a particular code of conduct - as so many people have to do when holding down a job. If she breaks those rules, she gets herself into trouble. As she might have picked up from her first fucking warning. For fuck's sake.

(Withers) didn't explain how innocently volunteering to pray for a patient brought the game into disrepute or how it compromised Mrs Petrie's discharge of her professional duties.

Yes she did. In the letter. Petrie can't push her religious beliefs onto others. Petrie did so, and brought her profession into disrepute. Really fucking simple.

If I was in hospital, I'd be flattered if someone wanted to pray for my recovery. It wouldn't matter to me what God they believed in.

If you were in hospital, Littlejohn, you fucking cunt, you'd be lucky if someone wanted to pray for your recovery.

they could draft in a Red Indian to perform a raindance at the end of my bed if it meant I got home sooner. I wouldn't care less about my nurse's religious belief, provided it didn't involve blood-letting and human sacrifice.

Red Indian? Ah, casual racism, our old friend.

The power of prayer has long been acknowledged as part of the healing process. That's why hospitals have chaplains and there are Bibles in bedside cabinets.

No. That is palpable bullshit. A positive mental attitude is seem by some as part of the healing process, and some would argue (in an extremely unconvincing way) that prayer forms part of that positive mental attitude. But it has not been acknowledged that prayer is part of the healing process. Atheists get better too. And the reason why there are Bibles in bedside cabinets is down to the pushiness of evangelical Christian organisations. Prayer is about as likely to improve your health as blood-letting and human sacrifice.

The truth is that Christianity forms no part of the 'diversity' agenda.

True. I'd agree with that Christanity is fundamentally intolerant. They don't *get* diversity. They never will. Their pious, sickening belief that they are absolutely right will always hold them back from embracing the ideas of beliefs of those who believe something different to them.

As I wrote on Friday, in relation to the gay adoption scandal in Edinburgh, the only religion that official Britain recognises is 'diversity' itself.

Diversity isn't a religious, you fucking moron. It is a means of making sure that the different types of religion in this country are allowed to flourish, without being oppressed by a rival religion. This is basic, basic stuff.

Just imagine how they would have reacted had Mrs Petrie been a Muslim offering to pray to Allah for a patient's recovery. Anyone who objected would be accused of a 'hate crime' and dumped in a skip at the back of the mortuary.

No, that's not correct. There would be an outcry (rightly so). Probably led by you, Littlejohn.

What's really chilling about this case is that neither of the patients complained. It was only when news reached the ears of another nurse and a 'carer' that the full inquisition swung into action.

So the opinions of nurses and carers - who may be acting on the concerns of their patients - aren't allowed to have opinions? Fuck that. If I encounter racism in my working environment, I will challenge it. The same for those who try to foist their religious beliefs on others.

What kind of sick society have we become where self-righteous sneaks can ruin someone's career?

What kind of sick society would allow an evangelical Christian to push their beliefs onto others - including sick patients in their care?

This is what the small print at the bottom of all those public sector job adverts means in reality. 'Diversity' is just another way of persecuting decent people trying to go about their daily business. This is 'investing in diversity' in action. What else do you think all those equality managers do all day?

Diveristy is not used for persecution; it is used to prevent persecution. And those who follow the diversity opinions of their workplaces - largely by keeping their beliefs to themselves in the workplace - don't have an issue. It is those, such as Petrie, who are too socially maladjusted or too ignorant to keep their private views private, who run into problems.

And as for those diversity managers - well, they have to deal with the likes of Petrie all day, I'd imagine.

The most intolerant people in Britain are always those who preach 'tolerance' most loudly.

No. The most intolerant people in Britain are those who read The Daily Mail. Closely followed by religious zealots.

How does victimising Mrs Petrie square with not promoting 'causes that are not related to health'? Isn't that exactly what the hospital authorities themselves are doing?

No. They are penalising Petrie for promoting causes that are not realted to health.

Why should Mrs Petrie, or anyone else, have to 'demonstrate a personal commitment to equality and diversity'? She can harbour whatever beliefs she likes, provided it doesn't interfere with her professionalism.

It does interfere with her professionalism if colleagues, carers and potentially patients are being exposed to a religion that they don't with to be exposed to. Imagine if a Muslim nurse offered a prayer to Allah for Richard Littlejohn. Despite his protests to the contrary earlier in his article, I think he would die - right there and then - from an indignant apoplexy.

There's only one word to describe hatchet-faced harridans like administrator Alison Withers and the tell-tale creeps trying to get a dedicated nurse such as Caroline Petrie sacked for dispensing a little Christian kindness.

Sick.

The old school yard taunt of "takes one to know one" springs to mind.

Diana's Death: Pointless Padding For Pointless Papers

The Daily Mail reports on the Diana Inquest’s Tour of France with a curious mix of tedious, pointless reporting and sickening melodrama.

Their description of the spot where the late Princess died sums up the tone for the whole article:

"This was the exact spot where the darkness had closed in on Princess Diana's life and now, ten years later, a sea of sombre faces stared towards it in the flickering neon light of the underpass."

Let’s rewrite that without the melodrama: This was the place where Diana died ten years ago. The jurors concentrated on what they were seeing. See, that’s called reporting. Not stoking up hysterical emotion.

"There were no prayers or acts of remembrance, because yesterday wasn't the time or place."

Quite right – of course there were no acts of remembrance. This was a fucking inquest. And frankly, there have been more than enough prayers and acts of remembrance over the past decade. We’ve moved passed the point of overkill – now any further acts of remembrance are insulting both to the dead and to those living people who have to endure the endless platitudes and prayers at each bastard remembrance service.

"Legal restrictions forbid any identification of the jury, but it is safe enough to report that this was as ordinary a bunch of people as you might find on any station platform."

What precisely was The Daily Mail expecting? A group of clowns? A bunch of dribbling morons? The family from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

"They stopped off at sites not normally on the tourist map, but crucial to the framework of the hearing."

Oddly enough, yeah, they visited sites that were relevant to the enquiry. Not tourist locations. This sentence is The Daily Mail assuming that their readers are so fucking thick that they can’t work out that this wasn’t a holiday, but rather a process of law.

"And then, the socalled tunnel of death."

Or just "tunnel", if you want to report on fact rather than milking this fucking story for every Christing bit of melodrama that you could possibly find.

"Later, after a break of several hours, the jurors did the whole journey again in darkness. To be fair, it wasn't quite an exact mirror of that day in 1997."

Of course it wasn’t the exact mirror of that day in 1997. It was over ten fucking years later!

"Final stage of the trip was to the Pitie-Salpetriere Hospital, where surgeons battled to save Princess Diana's life. She had made the same journey in an ambulance."

How else would a critically ill woman make the trip to hospital? By horse? By space shuttle? Endless padding out of a story that serves no other purpose than to pad out a newspaper in the first place.

"In an interview four months ago, Diana's sons William and Harry admitted they would never stop wondering what happened that night. Prince Harry said he didn't think anyone would ever really know."

Well, let me tell everyone what happened. Prince Harry, Prince William, Mohamed Al-Fayed, The Daily fucking Mail, everyone. Diana got into a car being driven by a drunk driver. Said driver drove the car really fast into a concrete fucking pillar. The impact destroyed the car and 75% of the occupants. It was a car accident. Nothing more, nothing less.

So, for the love of Christ, let the woman rest in peace. If only so the rest of us don’t have to endure this endless twaddle about the dead Princess for the rest of fucking time.

Rape! Rape!

Oil seed rape, that is. Although judging by the tone of this article, you would be forgiven for thinking it was about a serious sexual assault.

"Peter Hallam had never suffered hay fever before but as soon as fields of oil seed rape planted near his home burst into bloom he had problems breathing and his eyes grew painfully swollen."

Suffering from both asthma and hay fever I get similar symptoms. As do probably thousands - if not millions - of people around the country. Difference is that we don't run to The Daily Hate to bellyache about it.

"The 60-year-old teacher packed his bags on doctor's orders and spent £700 to stay in a city hotel to escape the pungent yellow fields."

Job and age irrelevant to the story. I doubt the doctor ordered him to spend £700 on hotels. Any reason why he couldn't stay with relatives or friends? And it may be time to change doctors, because my doctor simply prescribes steroids and anti-histamines to combat hay fever and asthma symptoms. Rather than ordering me to flee.

On his symptoms Hallam states:

"I became very allergic to it, my eyes swelled up. I had difficulty breathing, I was unable to see because my eyes were bunged up and they became terribly irritated. I wanted to scratch them all the time."

Again, very much like hay fever and asthma. That many, many, many people suffer from but endure and get on with things without bellyaching in a tabloid rag. But he goes on:

"It was the last resort. I had to stop work and go away. It was fairly drastic. It took at least 24 hours for it to settle down to a reasonable level. Jennifer had to go home to look after the dog so I was on my own. It was miserable. I didn't feel right. I felt like one eye was looking one way and the other was looking the other. I was holed up for five days. It wasn't a particularly nice experience and was quite expensive too."

Self-pitying crap. And again, you chose where to stay, Mr Hallam. And it will be expensive if you stay at £140 a day hotel.

But it is not just the self-pitying crap that riles me. There is an unpleasant undertone to all this - that there is someone to blame, and the farmers are committing some sort of crime or sin by planting oil seed rape. Ms King, Hallam's partner, says:

"It raises the question, is this happening across the land? A lot of people we have spoken to have said the oil seed rape is affecting them. I do think there are potentially hundreds of people suffering because of oil seed rape."

Again, hay fever is common. But a few hundred people is next to nothing in a population of 60 billion.

"I know it has terrific properties and is a great money spinner perhaps that why we are seeing so much more of it."

Quite. And in view of the "terrific properties" I am prepared to endure your husband's and - when I go into the countryside - my own symptoms. Plus, by Hallam's own admission, the doctor cannot prove that there is a link between the oil seed rape and his allergies.

"There needs to be a study on how it affects people's health. We are surrounded by it here, it is all around us and there is nothing we can do to escape it."

Except your husband did escape it...

"Had we have known he would be affected like this we probably wouldn't have chosen to live here but we cannot move now, it's not easy to move now."

Why is not easy to move? Put the house on the market and see what happens. But FYI - if you bellyache too much about the surrounding area, you might put people off. I realise this should be immediately fucking obvious to all but the terminally dense, but these people do seem stunned to find out that hay fever exists.

In summary - Hallam - get over yourself and shut up. Take some anti-histamines, get on with your life, and shut up. Or move house and shut up. But the emphasis is very much on you shutting up.

And to The Daily Mail - you actually call a man suffering from bad hay fever news?