Imagining The Daily Mail in the Soviet Union...

...and the potential front page headlines:

Marx Death: New Cover Up Revealed!
Will Capitalism Give You Cancer?
Chechen Pig-Dogs Steal Our Jobs And Women
Gulag Prisoners Allowed Bread - 'they don't deserve to eat', our readers say
Send 'Em All Back Home - Do You Want A Western Defector in Your Collective Farm?
Kulaks Demand Food
Josef's Law: Our Campaign to Name and Shame the Capitalist Pig Dogs Near You.
Cabbage Diet 'cures AIDS', says scientists
House Prices Plummet - No-One Cares
Guilty Verdict in Show Trial - Full Details Inside
Ungrateful Czechs 'want tanks withdrawn please, if that's alright with you'
Daily Mail Offer: Holidays In Siberia for only ten roubles!
Uncle Joe Takes On An Exclusive Tour of his Dacha In Odessa - Pictures!
Comrade Blunkett Honoured for Services to Truth
Channel One 'peddling filth' - new programme shows decadent West where citizens 'use hot water'